


Screen-To-Screen

by Sin_theDiwata



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sloppy Makeouts, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22447891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sin_theDiwata/pseuds/Sin_theDiwata
Summary: It's easy to hide behind a screen. It's easy to feel close, even though the reality is that you're half a world away. But at the same time, it's easy to mask your feelings behind a bright display.For Kenma Kozume, it's a lot for him to wish for, that the signs he's reading from Hinata Shoyou's actions align with what he wants. For Hinata, it's all he needs to feel not-so-disconnected.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Comments: 44
Kudos: 91





	1. Your Feelings Are Cached.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meiyamie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiyamie/gifts).



> Thanks for making me want to write some HinaKen, @meiyamie. Here, have some angst.

The smell of rain. The feeling of wet socks in equally wet and sloshing running shoes. The faint sound of people speaking in their mother tongue. From what Hinata Shoyou could understand, there was a very exasperated-sounding lady, not far, scolding her kids who had decided to play in the rain. "Você vai ficar doente!!" She yelled, telling them they'd get sick, but she was met with only laughter. The sound of it made the boy with the bright orange hair snicker to himself.

It was nearing the tail end of January and the rainy season had come to hit Rio de Janeiro in earnest. The skies seemed to perpetually stay dreary these days. He thought to himself that it should be snowing in several parts of Japan by now. In many ways, the cold of Rio's rain and the cold of Japan's snow affected him differently.

For one, the cold of Japan was often tempered by the company of friends, usually in the form of volleyball practices that extended until late in the day. Thoughts of the gym, all warm, toasty and echoing with the bright sounds of his teammates' voices against the bitter cold of Japan's winter made his chest tighten a little bit.

Rio's cold was combatted in an equally big gym, filled with equally raucous voices from his new teammates, but there were days when he felt like his efforts to grow closer to his new friends in Brazil would get lost somehow in the night, prompting him to have to start all over again. They weren't snobbish in the least, but sometimes language barriers were difficult. Sometimes, there were no right ways to tell others how much he missed being home, especially considering that a lot of them here in Rio were also missing their own hometowns. It seemed, to Shoyou, not something that should be brought up post-practice in the lockers, while everyone was still riding the highs of their latest practice game.

It wasn't long until he got back to his small studio flat in this building where some of the his other teammates were also staying. Lodging was provided for by their sponsors, but the place was small and he missed his room back home. In the late afternoons, so that he'd forget the contrast from home and here, he'd try to force himself out of his apartment.

On days when practice was out, he had chosen to go running around (and try really hard not to get lost). He had made a couple of unwilling detours today, thanks to the downpour, so it was already quite dark out by the time he got back. That annoyed him a bit. After all, it'd be around this time when he was supposed to tune in to Kenma Kozume's stream. He didn't like missing any bit of it.

So. He made quick work of his clothes, shed them with odd speed, and took a quick shower instead of the usual long stays under the warm water. Kenma typically streamed his gameplays for a good long time anyway, so even though he wasn't enjoying the fact that he was missing a bit of it, he consoled himself with the idea that he wasn't, at least, going to miss the entire stream.

Cup noodles would have to do for the night as he settled in to watch the stream on his bed. He propped his phone on a stand nearby and sank into his pillows.

"--the hell? That was dumb," came Kenma's voice, which made Shoyou grin immediately. It seemed like he was playing GTFO again - a horror survival game. It was supposed to be a co-op shoot-em-up, where you're supposed to coordinate with you friends, set-up traps, and kill these monsters and try to make it-- but, of course, Kenma'd decided he'd play solo.

Shoyou watched Kenma grimace as he saw that the boy on the screen had just lost a round. He watched Kenma rub his eyes as the game returned to the Menu selection post his in-game death. Kenma's eyes wandered over to the side, where Hinata imagined that the notifications of those who'd just joined his stream popped up.

"Nah, he won't call my name," Hinata whispered to himself, although he very much wished the boy would. "There were like... ten others that popped in at around the same time as I did. No way."

"Oh, hey, hello Valkyrie_xx, MoreKenmaClips, MarkoTheDorko, and--" Hinata saw the boy pause and then... was that a small smirk. "Oh, Shoyou. Hey, welcome to the stream. Here to watch me suck at this game again?"

Kenma's voice was dry and flat and plain -- like always. He sounded annoyed. Maybe the stream had been going for awhile and he'd been losing the level a lot. Either way, his old friend was, for sure, more than a little pissed at the game he was playing.... but there was something in the way that his name rolled off of Kenma's tongue that made his chest feel warm and his tummy tingle. He dug his toes into the bed. Goodness, Shoyou felt like a teenager.

He shook his head. Concentrate on the stream, Shoyou. Eat your cup noodles.

After a few more minutes of watching Kenma growl at the game he was playing, a small notification popped up on his screen. It was from Yachi.

_"He said your name! (((o(*°▽°*)o)))"_ was what her message said, complete with all the flair that Yachi's messages usually came with.

Yachi, too, often watched Kenma's streams, but mostly for Shoyou. Yachi was probably the only one who knew about Shoyou's little crush. Or, rather, she knew better than Shoyou. She teased him often, but Shoyou often argued with her.

_"I just miss him because we're really good friends,"_ was his usual line. He picked up his phone and put it on split-screen so he could respond to Yachi.

_"He always says my name haha (´• ω •`),"_ is the response that comes from Shoyou, not wanting to hold onto anything remotely close to false hope.

_"He seemed so pleasantly surprised that you came to watch! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ and Kuroo says he talks about you sometimes."_

_"Yachi, isn't that normal between friends?"_

There's a part of him that really wants to believe Yachi, but there's a part of him that prays that it isn't true. If he knew, somehow, that Kenma was into him as much as he was? That would just make staying in Brazil even more painful.

During the early months of his move, Hinata and Kenma had taken to messaging each other even more than before. Hinata blamed it on separation anxiety, but he often wondered why this felt so belated. He never used to mind it whenever Kenma wouldn't respond to his messages for days, especially when they were still in highschool, but ever since the two of them got to messaging almost daily there was something in him that stirred. Maybe there was something about being in a different country, a different timezone, a different... sky.

Maybe it had to do with the few times that Kenma needed to keep him on discord voice instead because the other was playing a game but wanted to maintain the company. Maybe it was in the way the two of them would sometimes get quiet but in a way that never felt odd. Maybe it was in the way that Kenma, one time, during a late, late night for the other boy, had said:

_"Haha, Shouyou, you're so interesting."_

He continued to watch Kenma play and complete a few levels, despite some of those seeming impossibly difficult. Kenma seemed so impeccably focused and there were times when Shouyou had to look away. The way Kenma would gaze at the screen -- and unwaveringly so-- made Shoyou feel like the other was staring at him and not some game. It felt like too much.

The stream ended soon, with Kenma rubbing his eyes and saying, "All right. See you all another day," before letting his sign-off bumper play on his channel. The screen then reverted back to the usual message: This Channel is Offline.

Shouyou became bathed in silence. He bit his lip and stared at his phone. Usually, he messaged first, but it was hard to work up the courage for it. All he kept thinking about was going back to the way Kenma looked when he finally saw the boy again last Christmas.

He had flown back to Japan for the holidays and made a detour to Tokyo first before going back home for real in the Miyagi Prefecture. His flight was a late night flight and there would be no buses going back to his hometown so Kenma and Kuroo had offered a space in their apartment for him to stay the night. Shouyou was overjoyed, of course. He felt like he had jumped entirely too much around his two friends from Nekoma. Kuroo had given him a toothy grin when he arrived. Meanwhile, there was Kenma... who seemed to have gotten taller than him somehow (no fair!).

The three of them went for a couple of beers, Shouyou talked endlessly about Rio, and then, finally went back to their apartment when Kenma had said he was tired. Shouyou had insisted to sleep on the couch, but Kenma interjected that his rolled up futon would be far more inviting. So, there they were, Shouyou on a futon on the ground while Kenma in his bed. In the dark of Kenma's room then, Shouyou couldn't sleep. Partially because of jet lag... and also because there were so many things he wanted to say.

_"You look good."_

_"Are you doing well?"_

_"I watch your streams a lot! They're a lot of fun, even though I don't really know the games; I like to watch them for you."_

_"Thank you for always talking to me."_

_"I miss you."_

"Shame you're only going to be here for a night," came Kenma's voice. He was peeking from under his sheets, the slight blonde in his hair darkened by the night, lit only by the bit of light that flooded in from the spaces between the blinds on Kenma's windows. His voice almost made Shouyou jump and it took him a lot of self-restraint to not cry out. Kenma saw how startled Shoyou got, though, prompting a small laugh from him.   
  
"Kenma, I thought a ghost was talking to me."  
  
"I'm not that scary," the other boy said, leaning on his palm, laying on his belly.   
  
"Hah, you just surprised me, that's all," Shouyou chuckled and sat himself up. Suddenly, his face was at level with Kenma's. He couldn't help but stare this time.   
  
"What is it?" Kenma broke the silence, his voice small.   
  
"Nothing," Shouyou said.   
  
"Nee, we should chat more when you go back to Brazil after the holidays," Kenma scratched his cheek, looking away for a second. "I get tired of talking to just Kuroo sometimes."  
  
Shouyou's heart had fluttered. His eyes widened, appreciation plain on his face. He wanted to jump up, to weep, to hug Kenma. _Yes, I want to talk to you more. Everyday and everyday and everyday!_  
  
"Yeah! Maybe after your streams or something," Shouyou tried to center himself as best as he could. It was hard, though. Kenma was fully distracting.   
  
"Sure," Kenma grinned. "Good night, Shouyou. Merry Christmas."   
  
Kenma tucked himself back under the covers under that and Shouyou felt like he couldn't move for a bit. He watched for awhile, listening to how Kenma had started to drift off to sleep, his figure swelling and deflating under the sheets. His smile felt like it had reached one ear to another. That was the best Christmas gift he'd ever gotten.  
  
That was no more than four weeks ago.  
  
So now, here in his dim room, he still watched the way the screen told him that Kenma's stream was offline. He fidgeted, switching over to Discord, so that he could maybe type a message up for Kenma. He tried to do so several times but kept erasing. Why was it so hard to talk to Kenma all of a sudden? It used to be so easy before. After a few more tries, a deep sigh rumbled from within him as tears pricked his eyes. He just wanted to be back in Japan, in Kenma's room again. The yawning quiet of his Rio apartment felt stifling compared to the quiet of Kenma's room last Christmas, even though he'd only been there for a night.   
  
Still, things just weren't the same.  
  
_"Hey, Shouyou,"_ the tinkle of the notifs rang gently in the thick air around Shouyou. It was Kenma.  
  
_"I saw you were watching the stream. Did you get to jog today?"  
_  
The widest smile stretched across Shouyou's face and he felt like his heart might burst. It was Kenma, of course. Yes. Kenma was messaging him. For a moment he didn't have to be so lonely in this distant country. He could forget a bit about how much he missed rice, his mom's cooking, the tinkle of his sister's voice, the sight of Tokyo Tower, and the taste of Japanese beer. His fingers began to type.  
  
_"Hi Kenma!"_


	2. Download & Delete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma has feelings, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. A chapter two.

_"Hi Kenma,"_ the words were bright on the screen as he sat in his chair. The room was dim, with only a small lamp in the corner behind his desk to provide some sort of ambience. The only thing he could hear now was the low hum of his desktop set-up and some sounds of whatever Kuroo was playing on the console in their common room. 

Before sending his message, he'd been watching how Hinata kept typing and erasing, typing and erasing. It wasn't a new thing with Shouyou, but lately it was happening more often. He could feel his old friend's hesitation in the way the little three dots would pop up next to that name and then promptly disappear. Kenma began to type his response.

The truth is, Hinata Shouyou wasn't the only one whose mind was still stuck on the holidays. Kenma had encouraged himself in his head, over and over. "Just say it," he told himself, while he dug his nails into his fist. He felt like he had a frog in his throat.

"Shame you're only going to be here for a night," he had said and was immediately relieved that his voice sounded normal, despite the internal pep talk required to even get those words out of him.

He found himself eventually relaxing as he watched Shouyou move in his space. It was odd, seeing him so close, in the dim light of his room, all private and quiet, all shy and excited to be here. His tanned skin, that fiery hair. There were many things about Shouyou that changed and stayed the same. His voice, though mildly deeper, still spoke with the same ringing vibrance that he always did.

Those eyes, though with a hint of tiredness, still sparkled brighter than anyone he'd ever known, ever met. He liked being around Shouyou, even if it were just through a screen. He wanted to let him know that, but there was a part of him that didn't want to push too far, too hard. After all, Kenma was here, in Japan-- and Shouyou is doing incredible things, reaching new heights, in Brazil.

There were many moments when Kenma hardly felt valid enough to stand next to Shouyou. The burning need to constantly be with him, whether online or otherwise, was often stifled mightily by his messy feelings of inadequacy. Still, he's never been more dedicated to anything but streaming since volleyball. He's taking a chance and he wants to stick to it.

"I'll make enough money so that going to Brazil will feel as easy as going from district to district here in Tokyo," he whispered his new goal to himself the next day as he watched Shouyou board his bus back home.

Kuroo had patted him on the head as they turned around to go back to their apartment. Things were quiet that day. So was that Christmas.

"You didn't get lost, did you?" he types, mostly to tease Shouyou. He found it honestly ridiculous, how, years later, that big orange ball of energy was still as terrible at directions then as he is now. Try to tell him to try a new jogging route and he was likely going to be off the radar for the next few hours.

 _"I kinda did. The rain confused me, ehe (*μ_μ)"_   
  
Seeing Shouyou use kaomoji made Kenma snicker a little. He knew that was thanks to Yachi.

Was it odd that he was more jealous of Brazil than he was over Yachi? He knew that Shouyou had a tiny crush on Yachi some years ago, but it somehow doesn't bother him. He knows they're friends, but somehow it doesn't scare him.

\--Why should it scare me? It's not like I--

He stops himself for a moment, not wanting to go down that train of thought. Down there lies only hurt. After all, Shouyou wasn't into him. It was just that... this was easy for Shouyou. He was alone, in Brazil, so of course the ball of sunshine was needy and missing everyone. Meanwhile, Kenma had a lot of time to fill. So, it was easy. Convenient.

That's exactly what he was to Shouyou: convenient. 

Still, there were moments when Shouyou said things online that made Kenma's chest tighten and lashes flutter.

_"While I was out there, I passed through a neighborhood that kind of reminded me of when I was jogging around and I met you for the first time. The sight of that made me miss you."_

Yeah, moments like that. 

"Stop getting lost in the rain. You'll get sick. If you do, you won't get to play," he typed, chewing at his bottom lip. He often felt like he had to be a certain way, be of a certain distance. Otherwise, he felt like he might scare Shouyou off. The boy was jumpy, in more ways than one. 

_"But the rain was nice! I got to shower really well afterwards, although I was worried I'd miss your stream."_

_"Now, we wouldn't have wanted that, huh?"_

_"Nope! I really like your streams. Just watching you is nice."_ This makes Kenma pause for a moment. Too much, Shouyou. Too much. Shouyou was often like this: really loud and easy with his affection and appreciation, but it never felt like it was going anywhere. And so, he never dared to say anything, never dared to try. He'd rather keep quiet all his life than have a chance at losing Shouyou.

 _"You always say that, Shouyou,"_ abrupt, short, terse. Was Kenma being brave? Perhaps he wanted to know more. Perhaps he wanted a response. Maybe if he pushed, things would get clearer.

_"Well, because I mean it! I enjoy talking to you and watching your streams lets me see your face, so, it's even nicer. Plus, you're enjoyable to watch when streaming, and its nice to see your followers support you and give you little gifts."_

Kenma watches to him ramble through his messages. There's a tinge of nervousness under all that brightness. He wonders what that might be bubbling under the surface - he likes to think he knows. 

_"Is that the only reason why you like watching me?"_ he tries. A long pause. Kenma keeps watching the three dots appear and disappear. Appear and disappear. Appear and disappear. 

After a bit of silence, Kenma begins typing. "Just kidding." The response from Shouyou comes around almost immediately.

_"THAT SCARED ME!"_

They talk about easier things after that. Eventually, Kenma transfers from his desktop to his phone. They chat for a long time until Shouyou tells him he needs to sleep because practice is bright and early tomorrow. Kenma gives and bids him goodnight. 

A knock comes around to his door quickly followed by the door opening. It's Kuroo, of course. The bright light of the common room floods in and Kuroo catches him all bleary-eyed. 

"Hey, you vampire cat. You hungry?" A grumble escapes Kenma as he turns off the display on his phone. He's feeling a little grumpy after that talk with Shouyou. Not that it was a bad conversation... just that. He wonders if that's all there is. He somewhat wants something more, but... was that okay to want? Was it okay to desire such things?

"A little," Kenma says, considering his grumbling stomach. 

Kuroo tilts his head at him, crooked smiles and all like always. He crosses his arms around his chest as he leans onto the doorway. 

"Talking to your boyfriend?" The next thing that happens catches Kuroo fully off-guard, as a pillow aggressively smacks him in the face. Kenma had thrown it at him, knowing that if he didn't, Kuroo would tease him to kingdom come. 

"Yeah, let's eat," he groans as he marches out of his room. Kuroo, meanwhile, shakes his head while holding onto the pillow, stepping aside so that his roommate can effectively storm out. He knew Kenma wasn't really mad at him, which made him smile, but there was a pit in his stomach that grew deeper whenever Kenma came out of these chat rounds seeming more upset than he should be. He cared about his roommate, of course, and he didn't want Kenma to dig himself too deep into this and end up greatly heartbroken. Of course, Kozume Kenma would have to even admit it to himself first that he actually liked Hinata Shouyou-- and that's an entirely different thing to tackle altogether.

Dinner was udon. It was also quiet. Kuroo watched his best friend take some odd glances at his phone. 

"He got lost in the rain today," Kenma starts, picking at his bowl.

"Did he now? So he got soaked, huh? He should be more careful. He might get sick."

"Yeah. That's what I said, too."

"Is that all you said?" the question from Kuroo makes Kenma look up a bit before looking away. Somehow, it was hard to meet Kuroo's gaze. He knew exactly what his friend was talking about, of course. He knew this was Kuroo egging him on to just say something already. 

"You know. The worst that could happen is he'll reject you." That makes Kenma purse his lips and grimace. He squints and swirls the udon around. 

"Yeah. And that is the worst."


	3. Can I Be Your Internet Crush?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two days later, Hinata comes back after a hard day at practice. His sloppiness scares him, but somehow Kenma's streams are comforting. He sees a song come along and people clamor for the title. When he learns what the song is, he realizes it's his new favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best read when listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtsM1ouOLLQ
> 
> I'm going to string this along as far as I possibly can HAHA hello, meiyamie. 
> 
> Oh right yes, contains minor spoilers about chapters 366 onwards. And also there's some lewdness in this chapter.
> 
> If I, uh, get some stuff wrong... oops. Just think of this as an AU.
> 
> EDIT: I edited the games that kenma was playing because two of those were 2019 ones. lol

The jogging music blared in Hinata Shouyou's ears as he dusted off his feet just outside of his apartment door. His sweat dripped from the tips of his hair. He jogged what felt like the entire distance from Rio de Janeiro to Tokyo, just because the sky decided to suddenly bring sunshine down upon him. Rare chance, he thought.  
  
He'd particularly felt sloppy today. His movement across the sand felt tired. Even Katou Lucio said as much, telling him to take a break for today. He wondered if he was getting sick.  
  
_Getting sick._   
  
There was only one time in his life when he felt like getting sick was a punishment-- at that Quarterfinals, where he had to sit out and watch the game on Kenma's tablet in the hospital. That fever was crazy, at 39.1 degrees. He remembers begging to be let in, he wasn't injured, let me play, let me play-- he begged, but they wouldn't let him.  
  
_"You, of all people, have to be at top condition so that you can be on the front line when you get the chance."_ Those words haven't left him, even now, several years later.  
  
He knew that going to Rio was definitely one of the ways to revitalize, to retrain, to gear himself up. It was hard at first, especially when... he didn't really have many people to talk to. The most he could do, before, was sit in a corner of his room, quietly, and stare at the volleyball that stayed still on his bed. He remembered thinking-- was it really the right thing to do? To go to Rio?   
  
Oh, but Toruu Oikawa had changed that. Their fun games in the sand, the way he watched the Grand King get slammed into the sand, the way that he felt like he was a beginner again, despite giving several high schools a run for their money back in Japan; it was all, in a word, humbling. And from then on, really, he knew there was no other better way than to just get used to it, adapt, make the most of things.   
  
The light flickered overhead as he turned it on. The quiet of his place sometimes really was deafening. He wondered sometimes, about getting a pet cat or a dog, but he knew that was irresponsible, considering he was always out.  
  
He decided the next best thing would have to be something like a tamagochi that he could busy himself with whenever his brain was too loud or his body felt too restless. Maybe he'll ask Kenma for a recommendation.  
  
For now, shower time.   
  
The water felt nice today. It wasn't scalding but neither was it ice cold. Just right, just right. In the water, as he lounged, he took note of the time. He had about an hour and a half before Kenma's stream.  
  
"Kenma."  
  
His lashes fluttered. At yesterday's stream, Kozume Kenma had been in a get-up that seemed a little uncharacteristic. His usual zip-up hoodie had been zipped down, revealing a black, thin, tank top. Hinata could see Kenma's form so plainly. He couldn't help but watch the way that the light played on Kenma's lips, his neck, his jawline, his collar bones, his chest. The way the boy looked at the screen, the way he bit his lip, the way the lights reflected in his eyes and played on his hair. At one point, Kenma had even talked idly while resting his chin on his knee, and the boy's shorts had ridden up a little bit up his thigh.   
  
It made Hinata more than a little breathless.   
  
Recently, Kozume Kenma had started to gain quite a bit of popularity. He knew that his friend had invested some money into stocks, although he wasn't really sure what that really meant. Yesterday, Kenma had told him that he wanted to put up his own company. Kenma had seemed nervous about that, but there was something in Shouyou that felt like things would work out for Kenma, regardless.  
  
_"What are you going to name it? The company, I mean," he asked his friend, as he lazed around while they chatted post-stream._

_"Don't know yet. Got any ideas?"_  
  
_Shouyou pursed his lips and hummed like he was thinking, "Let me get back to you in a day or two."_

Thinking about his friend, the way he looked, the things he was starting to achieve, the clout that he was building-- it seemed mightily overwhelming for Shouyou. He was so proud, always, but there was something else, too, that stirred in him. Something that seemed to settle right in the lower part of his gut and pool there. It was warm, like how he imagined Kenma's skin might feel under that hoodie and tank top. He wondered what it might feel like to touch, to run his fingers over him, to hear Kenma breathe in his ear--

\--Oh.

  
Hinata Shouyou gulped as he looked down on himself through the blur of the water. His hands tingled at the sight of his own erection so boldly declaring itself between his legs. It made his mind race-- is this really what he felt like for Kenma?   
  
Hands on himself now; slowly, slowly. He could feel his breath hitching and his jaw began to set itself. as he gritted his teeth.   
  
  
"K-kenma--" he huffed, his lips close to the water. There was a surge of embarrassment that went through him as the water rippled with the motion of his hands. He'd never felt like he could sweat like this in water before, especially since the air wasn't warm, but the bathwater smelled so nice that it sent shivers up and down his spine. He thought of what it might feel, to have Kenma's hands on him. The thought of those long, slender fingers touching him and teasing him -- it was almost too much. A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it and echoed against the walls and just hearing himself get off to the idea of Kenma sent a full body quiver through him.   
  
The release came not long after that and he had to hold himself up against the tub's backrest to stop shivering. He whimpered a little bit, wondering if he'd ever even get to feel Kenma's lips and--  
  
\-- shaking himself back to his senses now.   
  
What the hell had he just been doing? His lip trembled. Was this guilt? Was it bad? He'd always thought that Kenma was beautiful but... things like this with Kenma were not things he'd ever thought of before. He wondered if it was bad to think this way. Was it? Would Kenma hate him?  
  
The pool of warmth was gone from his gut, but there was now a pit in his chest. Tears threatened to prick against his eyes.   
  
Shouyou immediately climbed out of the tub and drained it, even washing it down for good measure with the shower. He rinsed himself off in the shower, too. His eyes felt hot with unshed tears. His throat seemed tight.  
  
He decided that perhaps turning on his laptop to tune in to Kenma's stream would be the next best course of action. His hand trembled a little when he typed out the usual URL, but he managed to eventually. No amount of shame could stop him from checking into his daily habit, perhaps.   
  
As he settled in, his phone beeped. It was Yachi.  
  
_"(*¯︶¯*) Hinata-chan! I made a parfait today! Congratulate me!"_

  
The sight of the strawberries made Hinata's eyes water and his stomach grumble. That looked so good. Further, that Yachi could put together something like that-- that was a surprise for him, and a good amount of progress. Yachi had promised to get better at things in the kitchen for her New Year's resolution and it seemed it was going well.   
  
_"Otsukare, Yachi! This looks amazing. I want one! (」°ロ°)」"_  
  
_"When you come back, I'll make one for you! (=①ω①=)"  
  
"That might take awhile..."_  
  
_"Because you have to get better before you come back?"_  
  
_"Yeah! I am determined! ▓▒░(°◡°)░▒▓"_  
  
_"I'm sure you can do it! Anyway, Kenma's stream is starting soon!"_  
  
  
As if on cue, Kenma's channel's title card started up. There again was Kenma, sitting in his chair, rocking back and forth.  
  
"Welcome to the stream," he said, touching his cheek a bit before scratching his head. "I'm a bit lazy today, so I want something mindless. Do you guys have suggestions?"  
  
Kenma was addressing the 30,000 other people tuned in of course. The number, too, was steadily climbing. Still, it was just so easy for Kenma to make Shouyou's chest grow tight whenever he was addressing the camera so directly with those pretty eyes of his. Even the way his voice sounded was a lot like how he did for a lot of their post-stream conversations. For a bit, he could pretend that Kenma was right in front of him, talking.   
  
"Slime rancher, Left 4 Dead 2, Passports and Papers?" Kenma snickered at that last one. A bolt of his subscribers suddenly started asking why that last suggestion made him laugh.   
  
"Anything about international travel just makes me think of a certain friend of mine who's currently in Brazil. He's silly and a little scatterbrained, so I can imagine him panicking when coming up to show his passport and stuff. He even lost his wallet during his first few months there," he shares. There's a shadow of a smile there as his soft eyes are directed straight to the camera. He knew that Kenma was most definitely talking about him. Was that slight smile for him, too?   
  
"Sure, let's play Passports and Papers," Kenma said, starting up the game. This time he didn't acknowledge that Shouyou was watching, though (which he understands. 30,000 people and counting after all).   
  
At some point, he stood up to go grab some food to heat up for dinner. Shouyou typically had dinner alongside this daily habit. He laughed a little bit along to the little inside jokes between Kenma and his fanbase. He wondered if the smarmy bravado that Kenma had onscreen was more of a character, sometimes, especially since this sort of attitude was not at all what he remembered of his friend when they were still in the same country. He wondered, too, if the unzipped hoodie was part of that because it was making an appearance again today, and that odd feeling in his gut was returning. This sensation of desire: it was like having honey in his mouth.   
  
  
"Gaaaah," he groaned and hid his face under a pillow. "Do I really like him like that?"  
  
He laid down, defeated, listening to the sounds of Kenma's gameplay. The music that Kenma played behind the mix was nice and soothing, though, and he wondered a little bit what the song was. There were small tidbits of what sounded like a girl politely asking to come inside someone's house and more tidbits of the same girl asking about studying. There were also tidbits of what sounded like glass clinking, echoing alongside a nice beat.   
  
"Oh, this song?" Kenma said as if reading Hinata Shouyou's thoughts. It made him sit up, which is when he saw clearly that apparently The Chat was asking, too.  
  
"It's called 'Can I Be Your Internet Crush' by In Love With A Ghost," the way he said that? His lips definitely quirked up a little bit and there was a smile in those eyes. It seemed like Kenma was in a _mood._ It was unlike anything Shouyou had ever seen. That song title also made him blush and he felt his ears get warm, too. It's almost like Kenma was asking _him._  
  
" _You already are, Kenma_ ," he whispered as if the other could hear. 


	4. Watchtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit! I kinda drowned in a lot of IRL things, but heh here you go!
> 
> All disclaimers and warnings from former chapters apply.

_"Hi, Kenma!"_ The wild-haired orange boy's face comes onto the screen so immediately that it almost startles Kozume Kenma as he lets the video play. Shoyou had left him a video to watch because they couldn't quite hang out to talk online today. Shouyou had a game today, so he figured maybe he'd send him a recording of an older game just to make up for it.  
  
Shouyou, beyond the screen, was smiling widely as usual. His hair is blowing quite strongly in the wind and the image of a bright, sunshine-y beach behind him seemed so different compared to his view of Japan outside.   
  
_"I hope you like this! Watch me kick-ass, okay?"_  
  
That's when some people started calling his name, asking him to come over and play. They spoke in English, which Kenma understood well enough. Shouyou then leaves the camera to stand on its own and the match proceeds. It's hard for Kenma to not watch the way Shouyou moves. It was fascinating, watching him stumble, watching him fly. Kenma's always been thoroughly aware of Hinata's strength on the court but every time he got to see it, it left him breathless.   
  
There were many things, too, that he noticed. Shouyou's speed on the sand, the concentration in his eyes, his slightly longer hair, his tanned skin. His voice seemed deeper, too.   
  
" _Is that Ninja Shouyou?"_ Kenma could hear from some random spectators on the beach. It made him chuckle, thinking of the nickname. "Ninja Shouyou" seemed so apt. Or "grasshopper." Anything that talked about being springy -- that made sense.   
  
It was coasting over to the middle of February now. How long has it been since he and Shouyou started this little exchange? Of talking to each other after his streams, of relaxing and unwinding, of finding comfort in each other's company even if it were only beyond the screen. There was something comforting in the idea that he had something to do after playing a small bit of a persona online. It wasn't that far from his actual self, but there were moments, he knew, where he had to play up the way he looked quite a bit. Maybe wink in the camera, maybe smile a certain way. Maybe make a joke about anything relevant. It was necessary, he realized, to be like a hyped up version of himself, to up his popularity. That annoyed him a little and it tired him out, but he was determined to gain more attention, more popularity. To his credit, it was working.   
  
It took a lot out of him, though. Thank god for Hinata Shouyou and his comfortable presence. 

Switch courts, now. Shouyou and his pair were leading the game by a small margin of one. Then, he watched as Shouyou lifted up his shirt to wipe his forehead.   
  
The sight of Shouyou's sculpted body made Kenma pause the video.   
  
"What the hell was that. Seriously?" He said, as he buried his face in his hands. He groaned and grumbled. He had paused the video right as Shouyou had his shirt lifted, the boy's body on full display.   
  
"Ah, dangerous," he grumbled. "Who said this was okay?"  
  
He looked away, raising his feet and hugging his knees. He could feel his fingers tingle, his body aching. This wasn't the first time he'd felt something like this for Shouyou. Kuroo had told him before, _'I don't think I've ever seen you so flustered about someone.'_

 _"I don't think I've ever felt like it for anyone before. I don't know. I don't usually like the idea of... touching anyone else, but--"_  
  
"Hmm," was all Kuroo had said. Then, after a long pause, "You should really talk to him properly soon, Kenma."  
  
That was the first time that Kuroo had ever said anything about Kenma's feelings about Shouyou. He didn't want to pry, didn't want to seem prescriptive, but he could see sometimes, how Kenma would gaze at the window idly and not really saying anything. The ache was palpable. It made him ache, too, watching his best friend feel so helpless against the weight of their emotions.  
  
"I'll just play a game. Just casually. Get my mind off of it," Kenma declared, rising from his little "stop-thinking-of-Shouyou-in-that-way" ball.  
  
But before he could, a ping suddenly went up on his screen. It was Shouyou, just in time. Kenma didn't want to open it, not while he was in this mood. He didn't know whether he wanted to kiss him or punch him. What stupid timing.  
  
"Hi Kenma! Can we do a video call today?" came Shouyou's message on the screen. That made Kenma gulp. He grabbed a pillow and shoved it onto his lap before typing and adjusting the camera. He fixed his hair, trying to see if he looked good, if he looked okay. He wondered, should he take off his hoodie and be in a tank top instead? Should the hoodie stay and should he just pull the zipper down a little bit. The questions raced through his brain and he groaned before finally taking the hoodie off and tossing it towards his bed. He was left with nothing but his black tank top. His shoulders suddenly felt very cold.   
  
"Sure."  
  
Not long after, the call button lit up and he answered immediately. It took a few moments before Shouyou's video feed could load, but he immediately saw the other boy in a loose shirt with a towel around his neck. He looked sweaty, like he'd literally just come around from the game. He was leaning on the wall beside his bed.   
  
"I came home immediately! I really wanted to hear you and see you for some reason, heh," said the brightly-haired boy. He seemed to still be riding on the heavy adrenaline that came with his usual matches.   
  
"Yeah, you look like you're dripping with sweat," came Kenma's usual dry and monotonous voice. "It's funny, why did you want to see and hear me so much today?"  
  
"Why? But I always want to hear and see you!"  
  
"Then, why don't we do this more often?" Kenma's eyes shifted around the room. Hinata's intense gaze at him through the camera was too much. To see him look straight at him like so much, it was more than he could bear, more than he was used to.  
  
"Ah, would you want that?"  
  
"Maybe?"  
  
For a moment, Hinata Shouyou just looked at him, those big eyes of his asking a million questions a minute. It was funny, seeing him look so much like a puppy up at the camera. Kenma hated it. He wanted to be there. He wanted to be on Shouyou's bed, to have those eyes actually on him, and not just through a screen.   
  
"I guess... I also get really embarrassed by the idea of Kenma looking at me so much, ehe," Kenma watched Hinata blush and scratch the back of his head. The boy was looking away now. It was unfair. He looked so sheepish and yet so pretty at the same time in that moment. It was unfair how pretty he looked.  
  
"Then you're gonna be even more embarrassed by what I say next," Kenma said, a shadow of a smile creeping up on his lips.  
  
"Hmm? What is it?"  
  
"I saw the video. I was watching you the whole time."   
  
"Ah, but that was such a zoomed out video! I wanted you to see the scenery, the play, the people!" He exclaimed making his usual wild gestures. Sometimes, Shouyou really resembled an overly excited bird flapping its wings with the way he made all these ridiculous arm movements.   
  
"But I only wanted to watch you."  
  
That made Hinata Shouyou pause.  
  
"Haha, Kenma, what are you saying? What's with all this all of a sudden?" The nerves were not hard to pick up on from Shouyou's voice. His cheeks were reddening and so were his ears and his shoulders. He could see them thanks to his rolled up sleeves. Those arms, Kenma thought. He'd like to feel them wrap around him.   
  
He watched Shouyou fumble through the screen, watched how his boy couldn't even look him in the eye. Kenma bit his lip. It was now. He had to say something now. Now or this moment would be gone forever.  
  
_"It's because I like you, you idiot."_  
  
\-- is what he wanted to say... but instead.  
  
"Nothing, I'm just teasing you."  
  
That made Hinata Shouyou laugh out loud, in that sort of rambunctious way. He slapped his knee and looked at Kenma through the screen, his chest heaving.  
  
"For a moment there, I thought you were going to say something weird like a confession or something! Kenma, you're ridiculous."  
  
"I suppose I am," Kenma whispered, through gritted teeth. He could feel his fist clench and his jaw set. His chest felt tight with self-loathing. He'd never felt more cowardly in his life.


	5. Green Screen Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See, today was special. He was done with the agony, done with the waiting. He had sworn he was going to finally going to talk to Shoyou in the most honest way that he could. 
> 
> What were these things called again? Right, a confession. 
> 
> Today, he was going to confess. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Valentines' gift to everyone who reads this silly fic.

Nothing can explain the elation that lives in Kenma's chest right now. In his hands he holds the first massive check he's receiving after his views for a recent video skyrocketed. Its nearing the end of spring now and is it odd for him to feel like a boy for the first time since high school?  
  
He remembers the feeling of hitting 100,000 subscribers last week. It took all of him to keep up his calm exterior and maybe not cry onscreen. He thanked his fans, played whatever game they suggested and laughed at the many inside jokes that his growing fanbase had. He announced his giveaway - a pair of top of the line gaming headsets that this company gave to him for a sponsorship. They gave him three, so he decided he'd do something nice for the people who watched him.   
  
Right now, just laying in his bed, waiting for Hinata Shouyou to come online, his heart was full. See, today was special. He was done with the agony, done with the waiting. He had sworn he was going to finally going to talk to Shoyou in the most honest way that he could.   
  
What were these things called again? Right, a confession.   
  
Today, he was going to confess.   
  
Sure, things were unsure. He might get rejected. If he doesn't get rejected, there's the distance to consider. It seemed like the odds were stacked against him, but he didn't care much for the number of miles that existed between them anymore. Summer was coming, he realized, and with the bright sunshine came an odd renewed vigor that he thought had long dissolved with his volleyball career. 

_-ping!-  
  
  
_There came the familiar sound; the one that meant he could talk to Shouyou again. It was a sound that simultaneously brought joy and fear to this one. Joy because he really missed Shouyou, for every moment that his friend was away from him. Fear because he had never felt so vulnerable, so in pain over not being able to be in the same country as that rambunctious, orange-haired boy.   
  
So, it was probably easy to understand as to why his hands were trembling as he climbed on over to his chair and opened the chat window.   
  
"Hi, Shouyou. How was the game?"  
  
"Exciting! There were potential sponsors and one said they'd sponsor me. I think that covers me for rent for an entire two months? Having a sponsor is nice."  
  
"A sponsor, huh?" Kenma's mind drifted on over to the check and to the little idea that he had in his head. "Congratulations."

"Thanks! Having sponsors helps. I'm going to try to be even cooler at the next game so that I can get more," there was a sparkle in Shouyou's eyes today and even though the video was slightly pixelated and the transmission was a bit choppy. Still, that wide smile and those honest eyes are enough for Kenma to follow through with the rest of the conversation. They talked about the game, about Kenma's follower growth, about their plans (and yes, Kenma wished with all his being that those plans could eventually wrap themselves around each other in the same way that Shouyou's shoe laces do when he wears his shoes. Nice, tight, neat. Unwavering). Kenma's mind swam in softness, his cheeks alight with an appreciation for the way Shouyou's voice sounded--  
  
\-- like pocket change,  
like the sound of Kuroo starting up the washing machine,  
or the sounds of the good weather charm tinkling as the breeze picks up--  
  
like love.  
  
  
  


Then, in a small moment of silence in between topics, through the video feed on Hinata's end, he could clearly see the way Kenma bit his lip and clenched his fist before looking away. He could feel himself lift his hand to reach for the screen.   
  
"Kenma? Is everything okay?"   
  
"I--"  
  
Jus then, Kenma's screen darkened. The soft light of the screen became quickly overshadowed by the brightness that was coming off of the fireworks that started going off behind him, beyond his window. Even through the video call, Hinata could hear the loud booms across the sky. Seeing the colors made Hinata Shouyou feel little things flutter in his stomach that felt a lot like homesickness.   
  
"Sky flowers blooming..." Hinata said, absentmindedly. He was completely distracted now by the sight of Kenma's profile, silhouetted by the bright display and outlined by bright colors of red, yellow, and occasionally, blue. 

"Right, I forgot. It's the night of the end of summer festival," Kenma's voice trailed off, as if he weren't even talking to Shouyou at all. He had always found fireworks fascinating.   
  
"I wish I could have been there--" but the said boy's words were enough to bring him back to earth. He gazed at Shouyou's wistful gaze through the screen. "We could have gone to the festival together."  
  
Kozume Kenma's little heart ached a bit to see Hinata Shouyou's face like this, riddled with the agony of missing home and yet knowing that his decision to go to Rio was the best he could have made for himself at the time. He pursed his lips, wondering what he could say for his friend at this point. Perhaps there was none. Homesickness was a special kind of sadness, one that was always isolating, no matter how good someone's intent was with trying to cheer the other up.   
  
"But this is okay, too," Kenma said, trying to smile. "After all, you know I don't enjoy crowds anyway. And this way we can see the fireworks without that hassle."  
  
"Thanks for always cheering me up, Kenma," came that winning smile again from Shouyou.   
  
"Anytime."  
  
"What were you going to say, though? Before the fireworks."  
  
More booms, more fireworks. It was clear that there was a bit of a frog caught in Kenma's mouth. The words were at the tip of his tongue but this was hard. Years of second-guessing, of his own hang-ups, of choosing to be quiet instead of racing after the things he wanted -- this felt like an odd culmination and there was a tall, tall wall that seemed to loom over him.   
  
_I love you. Just say it.  
  
__Come on. Open your mouth. Just say it. I love you.  
  
__I love you, Hinata Shouyou. I love you. Say it; don't back out now.  
  
_"I love you."  
  
The words finally stumbled beyond him and he hoped to goodness that it carried. The boy on the other side of this confession just stared at him, almost as if his screen were frozen. The silence was thick, palpable. It felt like torture. He wanted to shake the screen, ask what was going on, why wasn't Hinata responding.  
  
Then, finally, that orange-haired boy's voice broke through, though shaking, unnerved:  
  
_"You're kidding, right?"_


	6. Dial-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! My life became a whirlwind shortly after I released the previous chapter. So, it's been so long and I feel like I don't know how to write this anymore hahah I had to skim through the other chapters. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like this still!
> 
> By the way, it's @diwataMANILA on twitter if you wanna hang out

The screen froze and Hinata Shouyou could only see Kozume Kenma's face stuck in a state of his tongue curled in his mouth. It didn't help either that the faulty connection didn't let him hear what he was about to say. 

"I l-" was what Kenma had said. What was that? What even was that.

"You're kidding, right?" Shouyou muttered under his breath, trying to troubleshoot his connection. It felt like agony, not hearing what Kenma was about to say.

_That was definitely "love," wasn't it? He was confessing, right? I can't be wrong._

Thoughts raced through the boy's mind at a mile a minute as he tried to fix the connection. Of all the times-- _of all the times_.

"I'm... sorry?" came Kenma's voice again and the feed fixed itself. The remnants of fireworks in the background could be heard over his microphone, but barely there, just barely.   
  
"Could you say that again? My connection wasn't working," Shouyou looked up to see Kenma's face completely crestfallen. Tears were threatening to fall and he was biting his lip. Hinata couldn't see, but he could tell that Kenma's hands must have been shaking.  
  
"Ah, you _idiot_ \--" Kozume Kenma said that with the sharpest bite in his voice, the harshest hiss through his teeth. His brows knotted together as if Hinata had committed something absolutely grievous and it only made Hinata Shouyou's heart rise up to his throat.

"What did you say? What were you going to say?"

"I--" Kenma began, but it seemed his face wasn't turned towards the screen anymore. He was staring at something else, somewhere far off-screen, something stuck in the darkness of his room. Hinata wondered if it were possible to be having a heart attack and an aneurysm at the same time. It sure felt like it, considering how much he could feel the blood rushing through his veins. 

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Please say what you were going to say," Hinata egged on. He needed to know. Was it really a confession?

Kenma bit his lip and sat still, staring at the same spot off-camera. 

"Kenma...?"

"I'm here."

"Sorry, I thought the screen froze again."

That seemed to calm him down, although his brows were still heavily furrowed. He hid his hands under the desk and Hinata Shouyou felt like he could look at nothing else. He wondered how it was fair that-- even through this mess-- Kenma still looked like the prettiest boy he'd ever seen.

Then, one more firework-- the biggest one yet. Kenma turned to watch it, his form glowing against the bright lights of the outside. Hinata watched, too, although, to him, there was not much else that could be... 

His thoughts were interrupted, all of a sudden, by the pretty boy in the camera. Two hands reached out, placing the camera right in front of him.  
  
"Shouyou."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Is your connection good?"  
  
"It's on the green, yes."  
  
"Make sure it stays like that because I have something important to say."  
  
"O-okay," small hesitation there, of course. Even if Hinata had a feeling... it was still... nerve-wracking.  
  
He watched as Kenma huffed out a breath and pulled his hair back. He played with the hem of his sleeves and the collar of that shirt. His lips parted, just so, but no words came out. Instead, a fresh pink blush carved its way across Kozume Kenma's skin, like a field of blooms waking up to sunlight.

"Hinata, I love you."

Hinata Shouyou gulped at that. So it _was_ a confession. Definitely so. 

"I've loved you and your dumb face for a while; it's frustrating."  
  
"Why is it frustrating?" Hinata asked, eyes widening, face coming closer to his own camera.

"Because you're always just _there_ but not quite. Close but not at the distance I want you to be. You're in Brazil. I'm in Japan. Maybe this is dumb."

Hinata shook his head, a small smile curling up at the edges of his lips. He suddenly felt his chest blooming. He understands. He understands all too well how that feels; of wanting someone so much that you're not sure about the life choices you've made for yourself now, especially since it has taken him farther away from Kenma. 

"It isn't dumb."

"Huh?"

"I said, it isn't dumb."

Kenma didn't say anything-- he just watched Hinata speak. This time, the look on Kenma's face was nothing but shock and it took him about a minute to recover. He watched Kenma lean back on his chair. All he wanted to do was to sit with him, sit close. 

"I love you, too, Kenma."


	7. Subscribed To You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay more updates! I wonder if this one will be a surprise to read.

"Is he okay?" Daichi Sawamura lifted his leg and casually slumped it onto one of Kuroo Tetsurou's thighs as they hung out over pizza and soda at their apartment. He'd been asking about Kozume Kenma. The boy, according to Kuroo, had barely left his room for three straight days.

"He's just ecstatic because Hinata returned his feelings," Kuroo said, not minding the weight on his thigh. This had become a thing between him and the young police officer sat beside him on his couch. After his shifts, the former captain of the Karasuno High Volleyball Club would come over and they'd hang out. When did this begin? The two of them don't really want to think about that.

Kuroo, though, has a bit of a sideways glance towards Daichi.  
  
"Ah, so the two of them finally figured it out, huh?" Daichi's deep voice, always rumbling, always like rolling breeze that sometimes comes in through the windows in the late afternoon, sounds much like home to Kuroo. He could still hear that accent that seems to sit at the back of Daichi's voice nowadays. In their younger years, it was more present. Kuroo wonders if he misses it.

_At least some of us can figure shit like this out._

"That's nice to know. Hey, maybe I should send Shouyou a message, congratulate him."  
  
"It's been about a month since they started their e-Dates. Maybe your orange-headed sputnik would appreciate the gesture."  
  
Daichi sends him a look with a raised brow.   
  
"Kuroo..."

"Mm," he says, reaching for a drink. He watches Daichi as he sits up and comes up way too close for comfort. Their legs are touching, his lips are right there. It's _too fucking close_.  
  
"Is there something you'd like to say?" 

* * *

"They're what--?" that's coming from Hinata. It's another one of their several-hour-long video calls. They told each other that in-between streams and games, they'd try to have each other on call, even if they're not really talking. Just the peripheral presence that a video call can grant is... presently enough.  
  
Well, as "enough" as they can make it, they suppose.  
  
"I don't know. I guess they're dating."  
  
"Daichi-senpai and... Kuroo-senpai?" Kenma watched Hinata tilt his head through the screen. It was cute. Sometimes Hinata really did seem like a lost bird.   
  
"Yeah, I think... two weeks ago, Kuroo came back with Daichi. Said they ran into each other. Now Daichi comes around every other day or so and... they kinda hang out. And hold hands. Maybe they're dating," Kenma's tone makes him sound flippant, apathetic, but his face says otherwise. Every expression that Hinata wears on his face right now, he studies with fervor. It makes him feel odd, see, that Kuroo's dating. He's not sure either how he wants things to go. He wishes Hinata would side with him somehow, but there's something vile in wanting somebody to side with you over not wishing for someone else's happiness.   
  
He wondered why he was so concerned about this. He didn't want to think about it yet.  
  
"That kinda makes me happy!" was the next thing that Hinata said, smiling with all his teeth and those eyes turning into cute little crescents. For once, it annoyed Kenma more than he could understand.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, really," Hinata's face began to grow a little softer. "Daichi-san.... when he was still the captain of the team? He seemed to always put everything and everyone else before himself. There seemed to be no time for his own desires, his own wants, and his own needs. I often thought, 'this must be what it takes to be a team captain' but I also thought to myself, was that really okay for Daichi-san?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I guess I'm just really... I don't know how to be that selfless, I guess."  
  
"I see."  
  
The two were quiet for a moment before Hinata broke the silence again.  
  
"Does this bother you?"  
  
Judging by the look of surprise on Kenma's face, he was probably not realizing how much he'd been wearing his heart on his sleeve. It was odd. He noticed that he'd started to do that so much more since he and Hinata got together. He told himself it was probably because his heart felt like there was nothing to hide. Or maybe Hinata's just got that sort of effect on him.   
  
"I don't know."  
  
From the other side of the screen, however, Hinata could sense the discomfort emanating from Kenma in waves. He wished, as he found himself always wishing for lately, that he would hold Kenma in his arms whenever he saw his boyfriend like this.   
  
"Talk to me?"

* * *

Lips crashed against lips as Kuroo wrapped his arms around Daichi. His breathing was shot, his heart was in his throat-- but Daichi was right here, his weight on him drowning him in pleasure. He'd never imagined that Daichi's lips could be soft like that.   
  
Muffled noises of need filled the air above them. How many times had they done this before? The two of them refused to really talk about it. Still, all those other times were done outside of the apartment, not quite on this couch, in this quiet place, with Kuroo's roommate just a door away. 

What were they talking about before they started kissing anyway? Something about how Kuroo felt like Kenma was dodging him somehow-- how Kenma had somehow reverted back to those old days before Kenma joined the volleyball team. Kuroo literally had to talk to him daily to get him to join the team and do something with himself. He had thought that he and Kenma were over that. As much as he looked fondly upon those days, doing that all over again was something that Kuroo wasn't exactly relishing-- especially since this means that something changed somehow.  
  
What had changed?  
  
Was it Kenma's new relationship with Hinata? But isn't that what Kenma had always wanted? What was going on?  
  
Kuroo could feel his head spin. Thinking about these things was extra difficult considering that Daichi's incredibly sweet, incredibly soft lips had now begun traveling down his neck.  
  
"Sawamura."  
  
"Mm."  
  
"Hold on for a second--"  
  
Daichi taking his lips and his body off of him felt like torture. He gazed at how those lips looked so pretty like that, all bruised from their kisses.   
  
Still. This was important.  
  
"Don't distract me like that," Kuroo said firmly, hand on Daichi's wrist. Daichi's eyes traveled from Kuroo's wrists to the other boy's eyes.   
  
"But I thought that's what you wanted me here for."

* * *

"So, you're scared? Of things changing?" Hinata confirmed, watching Kenma squirm in his seat. Kenma simply nodded, embarrassed by his admission.   
  
"I suppose that's hard, yeah," Hinata added, scratching his cheek.   
  
A round of silence again. Hinata couldn't get over the look on Kenma's face, how upset he seemed. It was bordering on adorable, but really, he shouldn't tease him.   
  
Still, what was there to do. Aren't things like this part of adult life? Choices, far away from the prying eyes of others. Liaisons with people one desired-- there was no judging either Daichi or Kuroo for it. In a way, Hinata couldn't help but sympathize with both of them. Perhaps they really did run into each other. Maybe it was that feeling of familiarity that lit up that spark. The feeling of wanting to be understood and welcomed immediately, without explanation, is not something you could ever expect from a stranger.  
  


After all, is this not the same? Whatever it is between him and Kenma?

"Kenma, you should talk to him."  
  
"No way. No way, no way."  
  
"You're roommates. If you don't figure out a way to get along, this will start to feel unbearable. I'm sure Kuroo must feel it, too."

If you told anybody in the Karasuno High Volleyball Club back then that it would be Hinata talking some sense into Kenma (or anyone for that matter), they'd probably laugh in your face. This impulsive, brash, earnest boy giving sensible advice? Unheard of.  
  
Perhaps Brazil was changing more things about Hinata than he realized. 

"Fine. I'll try," said Kenma, grunting in his seat, hugging his knees. "But this won't be easy."  
  
"It never is," Hinata laughed. "That's love."


End file.
